So, what is this "FREE*"?  In this world, you have to be a bit suspicious of things that are too good to be true.  Scams everywhere.  Spam messages.  Untrustworthy people abound.  Yes, there is an asterisk after the word 'FREE' that should tingle your Spidy-senses.  For details on this and more, go to 'The Grand Plan' tab and I will explain my idea in all its glory.  TL;DR:  I'm a nice guy with a fun idea.

My dog Sadie looking skeptical to complete the effect.